My overall goal is to improve my skills concerning peer editing, reviewing, and reviewing my own writing. To achieve this goal, I will set three distinct goals, or steps. First, I will take better notes when reading others and my own writing. This will allow me to record my ideas on paper, and better organizing my thoughts. Second, I will arrange my revisions more neatly on the margins, that way I can better assist people who I am helping, and even help myself by having my thoughts easily accessible. Third, I will practice my skill. I will make sure to review my writing more often, and review other’s writing as often as I can. The hardest part of this process for me will probably be to force myself to read other people’s writing. I really have a hard time reading my peer’s writing, especially when the quality is lacking. If a challenge comes up, I’ll make sure to work through it and get over it.

Evidence: “Explain why art is so complex. You don’t have to explain it fully, just a few words elaborating your point would be good for the reader.”

This comment is suggesting that the author gives more evidence to support their claims, so it fits nicely under the “evidence” category.

Ideas: “Your sentences are worded a little awkwardly, rather than trying to make them sound formal just try just writing down what you are thinking. This will make your points clearer and overall improve your essay.”

This comment is suggesting the idea to the author that they clarify what they are supporting through more concise ideas. It fits nicely under the “ideas” category.

Organization: “These paragraphs might be better if placed together so they are one comprehensive though rather than fragments.”

This comment is suggesting that the author re-shape their paragraphs for a more logical flow of ideas. It fits nicely under the “organization” section.

When it comes to prioritizing global edits rather than local edits, I struggle. The first thing that I notice in other people’s writing is mechanical errors. It is difficult for me to understand the points that people are trying to make when their writing is so ridden with errors. A few of my favorites are things like a lack of apostrophes, commas where they don’t belong and none where they should be, and not capitalizing proper nouns. I get extremely hung up on these types of errors in my classmate’s writing so overall, it was difficult for me to make large “global” edits rather than local edits.

-JMR

I chose to critique Mitch’s introductory paragraph, since I know him and it wouldn’t be weird. As I read through his writing, I could pick out a few spots where more concise word choice would make a difference for the better. I also suggested that he use more imagery when he was describing the TED Talk about the painted murals in the bad neighborhoods. Seeing someone else’s writing made me think about my own, and if my word choice seems off to other people. I feel that I use a wide vocabulary in my writing, but I wonder if it becomes difficult when others read it. Overall, reading Mitch’s work made me think about the ways that I can critique my own writing.

After reading Southan’s work, one can come to the conclusion that he believes in individuals working to improve society by changing their own actions. This though process is called “Effective Altruism”, and Southan jokingly describes followers of this movement as “Super Hardcore Do-Gooders”.

Throughout Southan’s “Is Art a Waste of Time?”, Southan consistently emphasizes the point that physically doing good is more valuable than making art or producing other non-tangible goods, which he believes have less impact for the better, since they cannot be directly given to the needy, or used to improve society. In his TED Talk interview, Titus Kaphar stands opposite of Southan’s belief and promotes the idea that through artwork, or in his case “Altering” artwork, one can affect society for the better. Kaphar uses artwork as a way to “gloss-over” society’s past wrongdoings and in turn, changing historical paintings, monuments, etc. He then goes into detail of one piece that he re-painted. The original artwork consisted of a typical European aristocratic family, with a father in the foreground, wife beside him, and children surrounding them. Included in this painting is a young black child, probably a slave. Kaphar then describes his rendition, whereby he paints over the white family in the picture with a slightly translucent paint, and explains how this is supposed to shift our gaze. He then explains that the point of this is not to eradicate this history, but in his words to “Shift your gaze just slightly.”

That sure shifts your gaze “Just Slightly”

Instead of trying to make a difference in a tangible way, Kaphar wastes time making “his versions” of historical paintings, while attempting to say that these changes aren’t about eradication. Slavery was an awful institution that affected millions of people worldwide, but the historical remnants of its existence are what reminds us of how terrible a system it was, and keeps us from ever going back. It brings the quote from George Santayana to mind, “Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it.” Titus Kaphar’s ideas on how to make a difference stand in stark comparison to those of the Effective Altruism movement.

-JMR

As I navigated the Effective Altruism webpage, the first thing that I noticed was that the “Map of Effective Altruism Concepts” section. As I read through it, doctrine such as “Consumption Decisions” and “Funding Projects” caught my eye. This site seems like an outline of how they think that people should live their lives. I saw a lot of text about suggestions for charities to donate to, and the site seems very complex in the sense that there are so many facets of information that they have listed. The site also promoted the idea that animals are sentient, which is an idea that I find… Interesting.

I also had a chance to skim through “Is Art a Waste of Time?” again, and I picked out a few new ideas that I hadn’t spotted before. The first asked a pointed question directed at artists. “Would you rather contribute to the culture of rich societies, than work to reduce the suffering of the poor, or of future generations?” Southan seems to ask this question to pull artists back to reality, and have them realize that their artwork isn’t helping the world’s diseases, hunger, or  other prevalent issues.

The second selection that I noticed a few more ideas from was the part where Southan states “EA’s want to reduce suffering and increase lifespan and happiness.” Father down the page, Southan again belittles artists by saying that the importance of their work will never compare to say, deforming 1,000 children.

-JMR

I recently read a selection form Rhys Southan’s Is Art a Waste of Time? Two excerpts from the text stood out to me. The first reads “I find that most of us seem to ultimately care about something close to the concept of well being- we want everyone to be happy and fulfilled, and we promote anything that leads to humans and animals feeling happy and fulfilled. I rarely meet effective altruists who care about, say, beauty, knowledge, life, or the environment for their own sake-rather, they tend to find that they care about these things insofar as the contribute to well being.”

To me, this passage explains how humans have a strong desire to be “fulfilled”, both emotionally and physically. It also explains how many altruists take this to an extreme and care about the world only for their own sake.

The second excerpt that stood out to me discusses who you create art for. Yourself, or for the world. It explains how you can check for yourself bu asking the question “If someone came up with a project idea that you had, but they produced and distributed their work first, would you be upset?” That question is interesting to me, since I believe that if you work hard to create something that benefits the world, you should also receive some credit for your work. I would definitely be upset if that exact scenario happened to me, and I am sure that most people would too.

-JMR

Recently, I read a selection from Verlyn Klinkenborg’s Several Short Sentences About Writing. A few of the excerpts stood out to me, and I felt as though they gave me a deeper understanding of some of the writing process’s nuances. Klinkenborg’s writing style is very non-traditional in the sense that it is composed rather like a poem, compared to the traditional prose style.

The first excerpt that stands out to me is shown below. It reads, “But everything you notice is important. Let me say that in a different way: If you notice something, it’s because it’s important.”

This excerpt is interesting to me because it makes me think about all of the small instances in life that I remember so clearly, yet when I try to remember the things that I think are important, I often struggle to recall them.

The second excerpt that stands out to me is below. This one reads, “If you make strong, supple sentences, Improvise, understand, and exploit your mistakes, Keep yourself open to the possibilities each sentence creates.”

This excerpt makes me think about the things that I now do proficiently, but these skills were learned through mistakes, and those mistakes taught me how to improve my skills. “Exploiting” them, if you will.

Lastly, this excerpt reads, “You can only become a better writer by becoming a better reader. You have far more experience as a reader than you do as a writer.”

This excerpt makes me think about how I learned to listen, talk, read, and write in that order. You obviously have to practice something to improve your skill, and this excerpt explains how people read much, much more than they write. I wonder what would happen if children were taught the four basic language skills in a different order. Could it improve the way that they function as adults? Interesting…

Overall, Verlyn Klinkenborg’s Several Short Sentences About Writing brought many untouched ideas to my mind, and it was certainly an interesting read.

-JMR